Band 8 model answer
A model answer written to illustrate a Band 8 response to this question, with the rubric breakdown and what carries it. Written by us as a teaching example, not a verified exam script.
“The diagram shows the stages involved in commercial bread production.”8
Overall
8
Task response
8
Coherence & cohesion
8
Lexical resource
8
Grammar
The diagram shows the stages involved in the commercial production of bread, from the initial mixing of ingredients through to the packaged product reaching consumers.
Overall, the process is linear and comprises seven main stages, beginning with the combining of raw ingredients and ending with the packaged loaves being delivered to shops.
First, the four key ingredients, flour, water, yeast, and salt, are combined and the dough is mixed and kneaded for approximately ten minutes until smooth. The dough is then placed in a warm environment and left to rise for one hour during this first proving stage. After this, the risen dough is knocked back to release excess gas, divided, and shaped into individual loaves.
The shaped loaves are then set aside for a second proving period of 45 minutes, which gives the bread additional volume and texture. Once this stage is complete, the loaves are placed in an oven and baked at 220 degrees Celsius for 30 minutes. After baking, the loaves are removed and allowed to cool fully before being sliced. Finally, the sliced bread is packaged and dispatched for delivery to retailers, completing the production process.
- •Overview accurately identifies the process as linear, states the number of stages, and marks the clear start and end points.
- •Specific details are reported precisely: all four ingredients named, both proving durations (1 hour and 45 minutes), baking temperature (220C), and baking time (30 minutes).
- •Varied sequencing language throughout: 'first', 'then', 'after this', 'once this stage is complete', 'finally'.
- •Passive voice is used accurately and consistently for every man-made production step.
- •The phrase 'after this' appears twice in close proximity; replacing one instance with an alternative sequencer would add further variety.
Write your own. Get a real band read.
Reading a model answer only takes you so far. Write your own response to this question and we’ll grade it against the four official rubrics, the same way we scored this one.
Attempt this question