207 words, written by us as a teaching example — not a verified exam script. Read it, then attempt the question yourself.
“The table shows the share of daily commutes by mode of transport in three cities in 2020.”Model answer
207 wordsP1The table shows the share of commuters using each of four modes of transport (car, public transport, bicycle and on foot) in three cities.
P2Overall, Los Angeles was heavily dominated by car use, Tokyo relied overwhelmingly on public transport, while Amsterdam had the most even distribution across all four modes, with cycling accounting for the largest share of any single city-mode combination.
P3In Los Angeles, 78% of commuters travelled by car, which was more than three times the share recorded in Amsterdam (22%) and more than six times that in Tokyo (12%). Conversely, public transport accounted for 60% of commutes in Tokyo, compared with just 23% in Amsterdam and only 9% in Los Angeles.
P4Amsterdam's commute pattern was notably more balanced. Cycling was used by 34% of Amsterdam commuters, the highest figure for that mode across the three cities and the single largest share for any non-car mode in the entire table. Walking was also comparatively common in Amsterdam at 21%, slightly above Tokyo's 14% and Los Angeles's 12%. Cycling in Los Angeles, at just 1%, was negligible by comparison. Together, these figures illustrate that the three cities represent three quite distinct commuting cultures, ranging from near-complete car dependency in Los Angeles to multimodal balance in Amsterdam.
Write your answer in the exam workspace and see how your four marks compare to the model’s.
Groups Amsterdam's cycling and walking data together rather than listing each city row by row.
Final synthesis sentence is analytical and concise without expressing opinion.
Now you
Reading a model ≠ writing one. Attempt the same question now, while the moves are fresh — then compare your grading side by side.
Write it nowCriterion breakdown
What keeps it from higher
The second paragraph focuses only on car and public transport; a brief acknowledgement of walking in Tokyo there would slightly strengthen cross-paragraph cohesion.