📝 Model answerBand 8268 words

Band 8 model answer

A model answer written to illustrate a Band 8 response to this question, with the rubric breakdown and what carries it. Written by us as a teaching example, not a verified exam script.

Many adults in developed countries do not get enough sleep. What are the causes, and what can be done?

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Overall

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Task response

8

Coherence & cohesion

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Lexical resource

8

Grammar

A growing proportion of adults in the developed world routinely fail to get sufficient sleep. This essay will consider the principal reasons behind this worrying trend before suggesting what might be done to reverse it.

Several factors conspire to rob people of rest. The most significant is the steady intrusion of technology into the bedroom: smartphones and laptops bombard us with stimulating content deep into the night, and the blue light they emit suppresses the body's natural production of melatonin, the hormone that governs sleep. Modern working culture compounds the damage, as long hours, draining commutes and the tacit expectation of being constantly reachable leave precious little room for an early night. For many, gnawing anxiety about work and finances renders restful sleep elusive even once they finally lie down.

Fortunately, the situation can be improved through a combination of individual and collective action. At a personal level, people can cultivate better "sleep hygiene", banishing screens from the bedroom, keeping regular hours and forgoing caffeine in the evening. Such habits are far easier to sustain, however, when employers play their part by discouraging after-hours emails and honouring their workers' right to disconnect. Public-health campaigns, for their part, could publicise the grave consequences of chronic sleep loss, which range from impaired concentration and accidents to heart disease and depression, and thereby persuade people to treat rest as a priority rather than a luxury.

In conclusion, widespread sleep deprivation arises chiefly from intrusive technology, punishing work cultures and pervasive stress, but through improved personal habits, more considerate employers and greater public awareness, this damaging trend can realistically be turned around.

✅ What carries it
  • Covers causes and solutions in full, each solution answering a cause raised earlier.
  • Explains mechanisms (blue light suppressing melatonin, an always-on work culture) rather than merely naming causes.
  • Precise, idiomatic phrasing: “sleep hygiene”, “the right to disconnect”, “chronic sleep loss”.
  • Logical paragraphing and accurate, varied sentence structure.
⚠️ What keeps it from higher
  • The introduction signposts the structure fairly explicitly, which is clear but a touch formulaic.
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