Band 9 model answer
A model answer written to illustrate a Band 9 response to this question, with the rubric breakdown and what carries it. Written by us as a teaching example, not a verified exam script.
“The pie chart shows the share of global primary energy consumption by source in 2020.”9
Overall
9
Task response
9
Coherence & cohesion
8
Lexical resource
9
Grammar
The pie chart shows the distribution of global primary energy consumption by source in 2020.
Overall, fossil fuels dominated consumption by a considerable margin, collectively accounting for the vast majority of energy use, while nuclear energy represented the smallest share of the five sources.
Oil was the leading energy source, making up 31% of global consumption. Coal followed closely at 27% and gas accounted for 25%, meaning that the three fossil fuels combined represented 83% of total primary energy. Although these three sources led the chart, the margin between them was relatively narrow, with only six percentage points separating oil from gas. This left relatively little room for lower-carbon alternatives.
Renewables accounted for 12% of consumption, a figure that, while modest in absolute terms, dwarfed the contribution of nuclear energy, which represented just 5% and was the smallest proportion in the chart. Taken together, renewables and nuclear made up 17% of global primary energy, illustrating that despite growing interest in cleaner sources, fossil fuels remained overwhelmingly dominant in 2020.
- •Strong overview that names the fossil-fuel dominance and the smallest category without citing numbers.
- •Accurate combined figures: 83% for fossil fuels and 17% for low-carbon sources sum correctly.
- •Effective proportion language: 'dwarfed', 'leaving relatively little room', 'overwhelmingly dominant'.
- •Logical paragraph structure moving from largest to smallest groupings.
- •The phrase 'a figure that, while modest in absolute terms' slightly hedges without adding precision; a direct comparison to coal or gas would sharpen the point.
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