📝 Model answerBand 9281 words

Band 9 model answer

A model answer written to illustrate a Band 9 response to this question, with the rubric breakdown and what carries it. Written by us as a teaching example, not a verified exam script.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

9

Overall

9

Task response

9

Coherence & cohesion

9

Lexical resource

9

Grammar

Whether competition or cooperation deserves the greater encouragement, at work, in school and in daily affairs, is a question on which sensible people disagree. Some prize competition as an invigorating spur; others would have us collaborate far more. In my estimation, although competition has undeniable uses, cooperation merits markedly greater emphasis than it currently enjoys.

Champions of competition argue that it draws out our finest efforts. The urge to surpass one's rivals can drive students to greater diligence and employees to sharper productivity, and a great many human achievements, from scientific milestones to athletic records, owe their existence to the will to prevail. Competition, the argument runs, mirrors the world as it is and steels people for the rigours of adult life.

There is merit in this, yet unbridled competition exacts a heavy toll. Once victory becomes the only currency, it can breed anxiety, ruthlessness and a temptation to cut corners, and it consigns the majority to the demoralising status of losers. Cooperation, conversely, yields fruits that no lone individual could harvest. In the workplace, the thorniest problems yield only to teams that pool complementary expertise; in the classroom, pupils who learn shoulder to shoulder often grasp material more deeply while cultivating the empathy and communication that rivalry never imparts.

Balancing the two, I am persuaded that the most fruitful environments blend them but tilt towards cooperation. A measure of good-natured competition can inject energy, provided it operates within a fundamentally collaborative culture rather than displacing it.

In conclusion, while competition can motivate and hone us, I am convinced that cooperation produces richer and more humane outcomes, and that schools and workplaces alike ought to do far more to nurture it.

✅ What carries it
  • Discusses both views and develops an opinion that is decisive yet appropriately balanced.
  • Concessions are handled gracefully, granting competition's value before making the stronger case for cooperation.
  • Elevated, idiomatic phrasing: “an invigorating spur”, “the only currency”, “shoulder to shoulder”.
  • Flexible cohesion and assured handling of complex sentences.
⚠️ What keeps it from higher
  • The competition paragraph is slightly more compressed than the cooperation one, a minor imbalance in development.
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